The Fast is Coming…

Some men’s lives are solely occupied with the things of this world; their minds are so circumscribed by exterior manners and traditional interests that they are blind to any other realm of existence, to the spiritual significance of all things! They think and dream of earthly fame, of material progress. Sensuous delights and comfortable surroundings bound their horizon, their highest ambitions centre in successes of worldly conditions and circumstances! They curb not their lower propensities; they eat, drink, and sleep! Like the animal, they have no thought beyond their own physical well-being. It is true that these necessities must be despatched. Life is a load which must be carried on while we are on earth, but the cares of the lower things of life should not be allowed to monopolize all the thoughts and aspirations of a human being. The heart’s ambitions should ascend to a more glorious goal, mental activity should rise to higher levels! Men should hold in their souls the vision of celestial perfection, and there prepare a dwelling-place for the inexhaustible bounty of the Divine Spirit.

‘Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks

Barren

A barren landscape, a barren tree, a barren womb.

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Barren is such a horrible way of feeling. Uninspired, uncreative, useless. No level of technical skill, intellectual ability, or physical beauty can make up for such a blow to the self-concept. If you want skill, you practice more. If you want knowledge, you can read more. You can get your hair done or buy nice clothing to make you feel better about yourself, but at the end of the day, you will lose interest in all of it, because it can’t make you happy. Your womb is lifeless and your tree bears no fruit.

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To take up the burden of creativity and service, there is no recourse but to turn to the Divine Effulgence.

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You are a Child of God

You were created to know, to gain understanding, to love, to grow angelic in character. You are endowed with capacity. You have a high destiny. In the grand scheme of things, you are young like a small child. You need and deserve love and encouragement. You deserve to be forgiven for your mistakes. You must always have hope to try and grow. You need to be taught that you are loved. You must learn compassion for yourself and others, tapping in to the instinct of compassion that you feel for struggling children. You need to see the beauty in your self and love the child in your self. You need not be ashamed of your powerlessness. You must have infinite hope in God’s bounty.

Then you will be able to forgive yourself and others and be compassionate towards all and encourage yourself to be your best self. You will be able to pray lovingly and with faith. You will be able to serve with joy. You will embrace your destiny and rejoice.

Love, trust, forgive, encourage. Uplift. Transform. Surrender.

just a blog entry

Hi there to whomever. Be warned, this entry is pretty meta.

Coffee Shop Joe asked me a great question the other day about blogging. He said something along the lines of, “If you want to communicate, shouldn’t it be person to person? And if it’s a reflection, why should anyone else read it?”

Well now. I have to say it’s true that this isn’t exactly a satisfying method of communication. I do prefer talking to people. And for the most part, my reflections don’t gain significance by my putting them online. But sometimes, it’s been a good sounding board for ideas I’ve been thinking about, generating useful feedback from wise people that I don’t necessarily see or talk to often. Like Lev and Negin reminding me that I don’t have to leave the country in order to see warmer cultures or a lack of privilege.  I think I’ll keep that in mind and try to use it as such and maybe not take this thing too seriously. I guess it can also be a place to collect written art forms such as essays or poetry that I’d like to share with an audience, however small. But yeah, no need to take myself too seriously!

The musing of the day is “my future.”  Certain sources have pointed me in the direction of peacemaking and conflict resolution. It’s funny because I don’t think I’ve ever considered the idea of making a career out of helping negotiate conflicts between people or groups, but after talking to people I’ve identified some qualities that might be instrumental in such a task, and it seems like I really do identify with these at least to some extent:

- Strong orientation towards problem solving

- Desire to remove barriers that impede understanding (same reason why I like to tutor math)

- Strong listening skills

- Desire to understand the origins of contrasting viewpoints

- Ability to articulate what I have understood and communicate it to others

- Compassion and desire for harmony

- Patience and detachment (LOL, everyone can obviously work on these more throughout their lives…)

So, it’s exciting to see that this path might be a fit for me, even though it’s something I had never thought of before. I’m thankful for the wise people in my life  (my supervisor at work and the intuitive Julie Walker) who helped me out by getting to know me and consulting with me on my strengths. I don’t know if you readers know more about peacemaking and would be willing to share with me.

For the time being, I want to read more about the subject and see if I really develop a desire to find an internship or educational program in peacemaking. In the meanwhile, why not soak up the opportunity to occupy my time with service work and the core activities? I luckily have no debt and none to support except my self, so my sole need is to break even financially. I’m young yet.  No hurry for grad school.

Life is good!

Thanks for reading.

understanding others

It is of course an ideal to not take offense at others’ words and actions, but to understand where hurtful words and actions come from, and to have compassion.

I found during the past year that certain words and actions would cause me severe pain over which I had no control.

Today I realize that such pain was felt by the inner child, needy, alone, and lacking the perspective that only adulthood could bring. Today I find that I as an adult can find that understanding that bestows serenity, to a greater extent than I have ever known.  Today I feel that I have the love it takes to soothe and train that inner child.  Bitterness will be lessened; the depth of my understanding will increase; I will surely be tested with words and actions even more difficult for me to understand.

When the time comes, I will hurt, and soothe, and grow.

I do pray that I will grow.

Modes of Expression

Dost thou think thyself only a puny form, when within the the universe is folded?

It is important to have a way to express yourself fluently. To take a thought or an emotion within your mind or heart and convey it externally, and feel that its conveyance is accurate.  It looks or sounds exactly as you intended, or perhaps you don’t know quite what you intended for a final product, but you find that it is good. “Yes, that’s it. That’s exactly it.”

The tool is mastery of a language or medium.  It is a powerful thing when a person has some expertise in an art form such as music or painting or dance, and a will to convey meaning in sound, rhythm, line, motion, or color. Or sculpture or handicraft or gifts or body language or photography.  Languages with words are also art forms. But sometimes I feel like the other ones are more powerful. Or at least there is more potency in a combination.  I’m a sucker for music with lyrics. Dance is also really moving for me to watch.

The only mode of expression I feel that I can use successfully is the English language. I cherish it dearly as it is all that I have. The primary repository of my thought and experience can be found right here.

I wonder sometimes whether it’s too late to master another language. By language I mean all of the different modes of expression. My piano skills are rusty but I could try to learn again in a new way. Could I ever learn to write songs? Can I learn to dance? I remember at one time wanting to learn how to dance. I think I will learn to dance one day. I may not write songs but at least I can sing them. I also want to learn Arabic, if nothing else just to understand it.

Thank God I have English. And my eyes and ears and mouth and hands with which to experience it.

child II

She saw the child playing alone.  She saw that the child was upset.  She also saw that the child was sweet and dear.  As a result, she felt love and compassion for this child.

She held out her hand and said, “Don’t worry, I’m here, you can trust me.  I know who you really are and I love you very much.”

From then on, she knew that she would be there for this child always.  She would care for her feelings and help her to be happy. Her heart smiled and was calm and joyful.  Hand in hand, together they prayed:

“O God! Thou art more friend to me than I am to myself. I dedicate myself to Thee, O Lord.”

child

Her heart is a child.  Sometimes fretful, sometimes calm, always pensive. Her smile is timid, her eyes soft with wistful gazing.  She is orphaned.  She has many playmates, but they don’t come knocking.  They tend to their toys and families.

She is sometimes shy, sometimes silly, sometimes upset. She spends recess digging through the sandbox.  She always says her prayers when she is not too tired, does well in school, and never misbehaves.  She adores her teachers when they are nice to her.  She is always excited to come play at your house, but she’s sad when she has to leave. After she says goodbye she sits up at night with her teddy bears around her and she waits and thinks and hopes.

Romanticized view of other cultures?

I would like to learn how to be warm, friendly, loving, spontaneous and genuine without reservations. It may take some kind of cultural immersion. I’m not sure if the American Midwest is the right place for me at the moment.

Am I terribly off base here? Am I completely romanticizing the way that other cultures operate? Somehow I get the sense that I would be naturally encouraged to be more open and joyful in the Caribbean or Costa Rica or Cameroon.  Rather than it being such a bold effort to go against the grain. Over time it seems like I haven’t had it in me to do that.

There may be something to this. At least in a talk by Abdu’l Baha, there is this line: “Oh, you of the Western nations, be kind to those who come from the Eastern world to sojourn among you. Forget your conventionality when you speak with them; they are not accustomed to it. To Eastern peoples this demeanour seems cold, unfriendly. Rather let your manner be sympathetic. Let it be seen that you are filled with universal love.”

I think I’m trying to say that I feel suffocated by my years of conventionality and this overly-driven lifestyle. Is it possible that living in another country would ease the suffocation? Would it refresh and gladden my spirit? Would it be conducive to my spiritual growth?

Hmmm.

beyond anger

Anger is the ego.

Letting go is humility is peace.

Difficulty exposes weakness, limitation. Acquiesce to awareness; acknowledge.

Remove the veil of anger, and helplessness lies exposed; realization acquired that constant supplication is required.

Supplication is bestowal is joy is paradise is

true poverty and absolute nothingness.

Destiny is nothing less.